my baby sister, hannah, often tells me about how confused she was the morning i left for college states away. i handed her a note and gave her a big hug before she got on the bus to start her first day of middle school. she didn't completely understand that i wasn't really coming home again. though we had all coached her through every year of elementary school, she had no idea what lay ahead for me.
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| hannah and me after my high school graduation |
i used to think that the hardest part of being the oldest sibling, aside from being your parents' guinea pig, was not being there while your siblings really and truly grew up. i mourned missing out when they left for dances, football games, and learned to drive.
but i was wrong.
the hardest part of being the oldest sibling is watching them bravely go into new worlds and experiences for which i have no tried and true wisdom to share.
next week this baby sister of mine will be off to brazil to serve an eighteen month mission for the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. when i dropped off my other siblings for their own missions a couple of years ago, i had no idea how much i would struggle sitting at my computer each week trying to think of uplifting and encouraging words for them. i had no idea how many nights i would lie awake in bed, worried for their safety and happiness. i've written to many friends on missions, my husband included, but nothing really prepared me for the heartache and worry of sending my little siblings on their own journey. i know the experience is difficult and gut-wrenching at times. i know they can and will experience some of their lowest lows, as they feel the dark separation from all the people and places they love. but i also know they can experience some of their highest highs while talking to others about something so personally meaningful to them.
so, little pretty baby hannah, i am just as confused as you were the morning i left for college. i never did this. i wish it was as easy as telling you where to sit on the bus, or being sure to check the add/drop date for your classes. i don't know what will work for you at this time in your life.
all i really want you to know is that i believe in you. that you are so loved and adored by your siblings, your parents, your friends, your family. we are behind you, thinking of you, praying for you. this is your life, and we know you will do great things with it. be sure to make it your own. watching you grow up, even from afar, has been the greatest privilege. i can't wait to see what comes next.
but i was wrong.
the hardest part of being the oldest sibling is watching them bravely go into new worlds and experiences for which i have no tried and true wisdom to share.
next week this baby sister of mine will be off to brazil to serve an eighteen month mission for the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. when i dropped off my other siblings for their own missions a couple of years ago, i had no idea how much i would struggle sitting at my computer each week trying to think of uplifting and encouraging words for them. i had no idea how many nights i would lie awake in bed, worried for their safety and happiness. i've written to many friends on missions, my husband included, but nothing really prepared me for the heartache and worry of sending my little siblings on their own journey. i know the experience is difficult and gut-wrenching at times. i know they can and will experience some of their lowest lows, as they feel the dark separation from all the people and places they love. but i also know they can experience some of their highest highs while talking to others about something so personally meaningful to them.
so, little pretty baby hannah, i am just as confused as you were the morning i left for college. i never did this. i wish it was as easy as telling you where to sit on the bus, or being sure to check the add/drop date for your classes. i don't know what will work for you at this time in your life.
all i really want you to know is that i believe in you. that you are so loved and adored by your siblings, your parents, your friends, your family. we are behind you, thinking of you, praying for you. this is your life, and we know you will do great things with it. be sure to make it your own. watching you grow up, even from afar, has been the greatest privilege. i can't wait to see what comes next.
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